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©2000-2007 Cathe Jones
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October Commentary Time...1997
We call this month's Episode:
Moving to L. A. and other self inflicted tortures.
Well.... I write this on what could very well have been my second wedding anniversary. The leaves are changing colors.....little old ladies are hitting jackpots in Reno on nickel slots....children are brushing their teeth extra for the halloween candy fest....and college students are in mid semester burnout, having lattés and no doz, complaining about the "don't get its".
Today is the day that I chose to get legally attached to some musician, cos I thought there was a place called, Happily-Ever-Afer-Land, which was supposed to be the place you get to after Disney rejects your credit card. Instead, I discovered, "Oh-that-drinking- hobby-is-my- lifestyle"-man, and awoke from my merry bubble bath idealistic girl dream with a bomb blast the size of a fart contest in a man's prison. Two years ago, I was in a fantasy world. This year, I leave my day to day life for the fantasy land called Los Angeles.
Los Angeles and I have had a love-hate relationship for some time. I first made my trek was in 1988. I began doing standup here soon afterwards, followed by classes with Second City. My life as a comedian was peppered by the drive I had to be a world class animator. In addition to running around to every open mike in town, I was in grad school at CalArts, working as Porky Pig at Magic Mountain, and as the mail room clerk for the college.
I'm much happier being a social outcast, and LA? that was the haven for people like me. Having no time for a social life, I surrounded myself with comedians. Having no time for a relationship, I surrounded myself with "one hit wonders". Having no real sense of self, I think I reinvented myself about 89 times. That's why I loved it.
I hated the nasty people. I don't mean people who swore and spit....those folks, I generally get along with. I hated the people who were just mean because they had something that they call Cash out here. These are the people who have fancy expensive cars that are so well made that they send out telepathic messages to let people know that they are changing lanes. These are the people that are so important that they have servants cutting in front of me in the 10 items or less line with a cart and a half of kibble for their genetically engineered shar pei. These are the people that go to movie theaters to have their deep felt conversations, but are quiet during the closing credits, so they can see their names, (by catering). The world only exists to these people while thier eyes are open, and disappears when they sleep. This usually happens in reverse order than those of us on planet earth. This LA? I pretty much hated beyond belief.
SO WHY GO BACK? Well, if you want to be a surgeon, you go to medical school. If you want to work at McDonald's, you watch a lot of Porky's movies. If you want to honeymoon with someone of the same sex, you go to Provincetown, Massachusetts. AND, if you want to get recognized for your work as a stand-up comedian, you go to Los Angeles. I've had ten years to discover the strengths and weaknesses that make up the best and worst of myself. This of course leads me to develop the best of my work.
To paraphrase one Rhoda calling to NYCity...."Okay Los Angeles, this is your last chance!"
Pass the word like a cootie......
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