©1993 cathe boudreau
Dude babe love
What makes you believe that you are
so full of pain that no one has the
right to feel as much and believe you
wrong
With as much fear as you have hate
with as big of a scar as the sword makes
in your own heart. I stand here
untouchable. Untouched
wanting to understand why I understand you
wanting to understand why you write of me
touching your softest points
with a sigh. 1500 miles away.
Are you so lost in pain that
I cannot kiss your wounds?
Will you melt into me and cry with me
and be yourself and lie?
Will you scare me with your wall
or will I laugh it down with you??
Will you see the person behind this shell, you call beauty?
And feel that all is as it should be or
will you explain to me in silence
that your fear controls you
"I know you"
as you know me
As we both know that the longing to
be loved is an inevitable part of
the cycle. We'll be gone much
longer than we'll be here.
We have plenty of time to be
separated and so precious little
to be here alone with our
selves. alone
I eat your concepts, you digest
my humor
You carry my soul inyour eyes
and you ever never seen mine
I taste the sweat in your voice
you read the bonds in my lines
I hate nothing and fear all.
you fear nothing and taste and hate it
You make me apologize for being a part of you
you make me part of you
Odd, that we share a tie in the pain of death
of lovers and love.
A man once mesmorized me to losing my sense of
self. I died for him a thousand times
And I was left homeless, jobless, and worthless
form home in L A to NYC and lost
And now Las Vegas, New Mexico
And my greatest friend, another poet
I never actually met. Who was
left to gurgle in his own vomit
who was left on life support
who decided a needle was better than
a caress when he escaped. He checked
out. He's pushing up strange flowers
in a golf course.
And I sang songs about him every show.
And I sent you those words-- and the card read
"Not accepting submissions at this time"
It wasn't a submission, it was catharsis
Odd that I read my thoughts in
your words. My manner of speaking
in your words. You have ripped me
from my unique angst and presented
me your interpretation of who I am
I cannot hide from you.
SO dear sweet boy who lies in
this man's exterior. I hold you
closer than I can another being.
Although we have never touched.
Perhaps that will not always be true.
Some things are inevitable. You have as
many titles as I do, yet yours matter more
to the outside world, and help put you into
an inpenatrable tower.
But you dare to reach out. You scream
GODDAMMIT- UNDERSTAND ME!!! HOLD ME
TO YOU-- MAKE IT REAL!!
And, I, who wishes to do so, know
that it may never be me who gets to
feel you strong and weak
feel you hate and hurt
feel you laugh and lose
feel you teach and hide
feel you cough and choke and realize that
the secret of life is that you never "grow up"
you have to obtain a wonder of a child- not parents, FUCK THEM
And so I finish my thoughts
I wonder if I sound like some sort of Tiger Beat
reading obsessed Leif Garrett loving muthafucka
or if you can see that you've pulled me
out of deep tunnel with your wit and words.
And that I am no longer alone while you
live, And it's not as scary as I thought
Call me. Collect.
