Dear John 

it's a dear john letter that was on it's way out
from the bowels of my purse to the one I would want
for eighteen hours in one mystery world
I was his and no one else existed in this girl
for months it followed me
for years it haunted me
for a lifetime it called me
and taunted me
uncaringly
and then unbelievably
it left on its own

curved lip dark eyes sought the words in the want
by a catholic church in that a texas parking lot
the best seconds of her once lifetime
the saddest loss at the same time spit out in furor
as he cried to not let the end begin, don't let this stop
the moment lasted forever
and cruelly whenever
she sat in the dark
she'd still hear the whisper
unearthly
with cruelty
it's no longer hers

he took her words, and she took her licks
he went on with life, she moved into her ditch
she wed, and he bedded another with love
she in the shallows, he soared above
she wrote him letters and burned them quite often
took a replacement and let it trap her
he reappeared as if to tease her
he kept appearing
she kept repeating
words to call out
words to shut out
words to plead out
words to bleed out
words to scream out
words to confirm that
she hadn't been dreaming
and it meant just more than time
and it meant just more than moments
and it wasn't just for just one time

but there in the bottom of the old dimestore purse
sits the dear john letter she'd written in cursed
the never closed wound, the never said why
the never wanted to ending of never goodbye
it's here being lost in not letting go
of being afraid to hold someone close
for months it followed me
for years it haunted me
for a lifetime it called me
and taunted me
uncaringly
and then unbelievably
it left on its own

© Cathe Jones 2002